Boy or Girl?

Today, I am officially 19 weeks along and feeling great! I feel like I've got a handle on the basics of being pregnant. I really just can't believe that I'm about halfway there! I am so excited for the birthing process to begin. I mean, I am totally ready. I can't wait to experience labor! When I think of what's to come, I think of the night I peed on that fateful stick and how enthusiastically Cindy roared "BRING IT ON!"

Of course I'm jumping ahead of myself. That is way farther in the future than the 20-week milestone we're looking at in a week. This will be the time when we get to see pictures of our little creature and find out if its a boy or girl. There was an overwhelming consensus that the child we lost in the miscarriage of the last pregnancy was a girl. This time, the feeling is just as strong, but for a boy.

We had a laugh with my midwife when we talked about one of the ways some people try to determine gender. She said that if the mom is particularly emotionally sad, it should be a girl because of the extra estrogen and if she gets easily angry or mean, its a boy because of all the excess testosterone in the system. I thought about it for a second then looked at Cam. He came right out and said, "Well, she CAN be pretty mean! Maybe we are having a boy!"

There are a couple people that swear we're having a girl. Personally, I've had the strong sensation that there's a little boy inside of me, but I'm willing to be proven wrong! When it comes down to it, I've been wanting and waiting so long to get pregnant that I don't care if we end up with an androgynous duck-billed purple space alien! I just want the chance to experience a tangible manifestation that is a result of the love I have with my partner Cameron and the love of family.

I know that there are no guarantees especially after the last pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Even though it was painful, that experience has an important place in my life. I gained so much from such a huge loss. I can't really put it into words, but I've been able to sense the vast amount of sequential spiritual exchange that took place from the loss of our last baby Chloe to get to the point we're at now with baby Uma Kali or Daniel Lorenzo.

Cute names, huh? We decided that if its a girl, I get to name her and if its a boy, Cam gets to name him. Both of us had names picked out almost from the beginning. They both just popped into our heads like they were always meant to be. Who knows? Maybe we'll all be surprised and get one of each. Twins perhaps?

For now, I'm just trying to keep myself distracted as much as possible to get through this week. I am dying to get that ultrasound and see what is in store for everyone in our family. Will this be a son or daughter, grandson or grand-daughter, niece or nephew? I will be sure to keep everyone posted as soon as I find out! So mark your calendar for April 15th - tax day and the day we will know more about Tam and Cam's baby's gender!!!!