We had our first meeting with the midwife, Cyndy on Friday morning. It was a family affair for sure. I showed up with Cam and Danzo and we were happily greeted by a couple of cuddly puppies as we were getting out of the car. After petting them for a bit, we finally made it to the front door. Cyndy answered and she introduced us to a few of her family members as they were on their way out. What a friendly bunch of people. I mean, when was the last time you went to the doctor and suddenly felt the warmth and love of their family surround you?
We sat down in her living room and had a nice chat with Cyndy while we waited for the other midwife, Hannah to show up. They're working together to get certification, but both of them have quite a bit of experience. Cyndy has been delivering babies for 35 years and Hannah has recently worked in a water birth center for nine months. Once Hannah arrived and we were all together, I felt like we were all pieces to a puzzle that had finally completed the picture. My comfort level was very high and became even more so, the more we talked.
We talked about our individual philosophies on childbirth, diet, exercise, supplementation, and my health history. Cyndy shared quite a few anecdotal scenarios to familiarize me with her level of experience. My concern about having a prior c-section was discussed in depth. I came to discover that she has to work with the state laws that govern VBACs (Vaginal Birth After C-section). She said that she would consult with the supervising midwife to learn about specific laws and get back to me.
After two hours of wonderful discussion, I left feeling empowered and energized to go forward on my chosen path. As I sat down today to write about this great experience, my dreams of working with these wonderful women were dashed as I got a call from Cyndy with the bad news. Since she is working to get certified, it is illegal for her to perform a VBAC. This is heartbreaking to me since these two ladies seemed like my only legal hope for having a home birth. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Finding a Midwife in the Boonies
I thought it was hard to find a midwife for my last pregnancy. I lived in the greater Phoenix area and there were so many out there that it was hard to narrow down the choices. I have since moved to a very rural area and this time its hard because I can barely find ANY to choose from. I've called all the places listed on the internet and in my insurance provider directory. I've even tried going through the hospital. After researching all the information, I found that I had three midwives to contact. The first wasn't taking any new patients, the second referred me to the third, and by that process I landed an appointment for this Friday with a nice lady named Cindy.
I talked to her for a bit on the phone and asked some standard questions. I found that she's been delivering babies for a while, but is not a certified midwife. That made me a little nervous at first, but I was soon comforted when she told me that she is currently working to get certified under the supervision of the certified midwife that referred me to her. Then I realized that I'm not necessarily interested in actual certification anyway, just experience. I wouldn't be trying to get together with a midwife if I was. We'll go ahead with our first appointment to get a better feel for her in person and to see if I actually qualify as a candidate for home birth.
Probably the biggest concern is that my first birth was a c-section. This will make a vaginal birth a little more challenging the second time around. I am fully willing to do whatever it takes to make a home birth happen. I feel so robbed from my first experience. It was everything I didn't want. I know, I know. I should just be happy that I ended up with a healthy and happy baby. Don't get me wrong. I am completely happy with that and I appreciate what the doctors and anesthesiologists did for me in that circumstance. What I am unhappy with is the sense of experience and reality that I worked so hard to achieve over the course of 36 weeks and it just completely disintegrated for me within minutes.
The factors that got me to the hospital were out of my control and I realize that it could happen all over again, but I just want to give it the best try I can for the reality that I want to create for myself. Having a vision and a say in the birth process is my right and responsibility as a woman and I dare not let go of that for anything. If I let go of my principals in situations that involve my life and the life of my child, I have lost the battle against submitting to the way things are. I want to help create the way things should be for me. This is my ultimate chance to do work on inspiration and I am ready!
I talked to her for a bit on the phone and asked some standard questions. I found that she's been delivering babies for a while, but is not a certified midwife. That made me a little nervous at first, but I was soon comforted when she told me that she is currently working to get certified under the supervision of the certified midwife that referred me to her. Then I realized that I'm not necessarily interested in actual certification anyway, just experience. I wouldn't be trying to get together with a midwife if I was. We'll go ahead with our first appointment to get a better feel for her in person and to see if I actually qualify as a candidate for home birth.
Probably the biggest concern is that my first birth was a c-section. This will make a vaginal birth a little more challenging the second time around. I am fully willing to do whatever it takes to make a home birth happen. I feel so robbed from my first experience. It was everything I didn't want. I know, I know. I should just be happy that I ended up with a healthy and happy baby. Don't get me wrong. I am completely happy with that and I appreciate what the doctors and anesthesiologists did for me in that circumstance. What I am unhappy with is the sense of experience and reality that I worked so hard to achieve over the course of 36 weeks and it just completely disintegrated for me within minutes.
The factors that got me to the hospital were out of my control and I realize that it could happen all over again, but I just want to give it the best try I can for the reality that I want to create for myself. Having a vision and a say in the birth process is my right and responsibility as a woman and I dare not let go of that for anything. If I let go of my principals in situations that involve my life and the life of my child, I have lost the battle against submitting to the way things are. I want to help create the way things should be for me. This is my ultimate chance to do work on inspiration and I am ready!
Friday, January 20, 2012
A New Journey
Its true. I'm pregnant again! Seven weeks along as of yesterday. I know its a little early to announce it to the world, but I've thought about it and I'm ready for whatever comes my way. Whatever happens, I want to write and share. This is my third pregnancy. Sadly, my first ended with a miscarriage after 13 weeks. I'm pretty sure I was going to have a girl. Her name would've been Chloe. My second resulted with a wonderfully healthy boy named Danzo. He's been making me laugh, smile, and cry for almost 2 and a half years now.
It wasn't until around October, 2011 when we decided we would like to be blessed with another child. I had so many struggles with the miscarriage and trying to get pregnant with Danzo for 2 years, I decided to adopt a new attitude the third time around. This time, I was laid back and happy with whatever came my way. After all, if it didn't happen right away, I always had my little Danzo to keep me company.
Along with a new attitude, a few other factors helped in the making of this new baby in my belly. After years of having the marriage debate, Cam and I finally decided to just go ahead and elope at the local courthouse. We're pretty poor and we didn't really know what to do for rings so I started to dig through my jewelry box to find something... ANYTHING!
I came across an old hemp ring for him and a beautiful diamond ring for me. The origin of the ring was very hazy for me. I thought it must've been from my mom. I guess I didn't understand its value at the time it was given to me because it was long before I would have even wore nice jewelry. If I had to guess, I think I got it in middle school or early high school. I put it away without much thought until the day we tied the knot on December 16, 2011.
Luckily, after all this time, the ring was a PERFECT fit. As if it was meant to go on my finger that exact day. After the ceremony, I snapped a picture of the mysterious ring on my finger and sent it to my mom and aunt to confirm its origin. Neither of them had ever seen the ring their entire lives. Hmmmm. So it wasn't from my mom, aunt, or my mom's mom. I guess my dad had given me the ring. It must have been his mom's ring.
With everything aligned for us on that day here on earth, it was also aligned across the universe. We had just been sealed together through the sanctity of marriage, I was ovulating, my dad and his mom were in heaven and her ring was on my finger. We made love that very day (and few times that night) and I got pregnant! Its a story too good not to share and I look forward to this new journey ahead. Here we go with another one!!!
It wasn't until around October, 2011 when we decided we would like to be blessed with another child. I had so many struggles with the miscarriage and trying to get pregnant with Danzo for 2 years, I decided to adopt a new attitude the third time around. This time, I was laid back and happy with whatever came my way. After all, if it didn't happen right away, I always had my little Danzo to keep me company.
Along with a new attitude, a few other factors helped in the making of this new baby in my belly. After years of having the marriage debate, Cam and I finally decided to just go ahead and elope at the local courthouse. We're pretty poor and we didn't really know what to do for rings so I started to dig through my jewelry box to find something... ANYTHING!
I came across an old hemp ring for him and a beautiful diamond ring for me. The origin of the ring was very hazy for me. I thought it must've been from my mom. I guess I didn't understand its value at the time it was given to me because it was long before I would have even wore nice jewelry. If I had to guess, I think I got it in middle school or early high school. I put it away without much thought until the day we tied the knot on December 16, 2011.
Luckily, after all this time, the ring was a PERFECT fit. As if it was meant to go on my finger that exact day. After the ceremony, I snapped a picture of the mysterious ring on my finger and sent it to my mom and aunt to confirm its origin. Neither of them had ever seen the ring their entire lives. Hmmmm. So it wasn't from my mom, aunt, or my mom's mom. I guess my dad had given me the ring. It must have been his mom's ring.
With everything aligned for us on that day here on earth, it was also aligned across the universe. We had just been sealed together through the sanctity of marriage, I was ovulating, my dad and his mom were in heaven and her ring was on my finger. We made love that very day (and few times that night) and I got pregnant! Its a story too good not to share and I look forward to this new journey ahead. Here we go with another one!!!
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