Sunday, June 10, 2012

Reflecting on the Past

I was reading some of my blog entries from my last pregnancy with Danzo because I was curious about a few things. I want to make sense of why Danzo came so early and if there is anything I can do differently to make this baby stay in my belly until mid September. The first thing I wanted to do was to see what point and why my ankles and feet swelled so much that I couldn't wear shoes . It seemed to happen around the time we had to move into a new house... of course! The stress of moving in the extreme heat of the valley in the beginning of July would do it for sure, which is also around the time my blood pressure sky-rocketed.

Danzo and this baby have approximately the same due date, which makes it really easy to compare the two pregnancies. Right now its mid-June and I am happy and settled in my home here in St. Johns. I haven't had to find a job like I did last time, I won't have to completely uproot and move all my nesting efforts to a new house before the birth, and the heat will not be nearly as unbearable as it was in the valley. All of those things are so good for keeping the baby inside me. I feel like I'm so far ahead of where I was last time, that it gives me the confidence that I can hold onto this baby at least until the beginning of September.

Another thing I started to do too early last time was I took herbs to soften my cervix. I started taking them in mid July and Danzo showed up July 29th. This time around, I told my midwife that I have no desire to start taking any measures to soften my cervix until the first week of September when I know she's going to be around. I'm trying not to worry about it, but she's going to be out of town on a trip for all of August. We have a pretty good idea about the date of conception, which is more than I had with Danzo. This will hopefully add an extra week onto the due date.

Aside from all other factors, the most amazing thing I discovered from looking into the past is that Danzo was born on July 29th, which was the due date for the baby I lost from my first pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage. Maybe giving birth to Danzo on that day fulfilled some sort of spiritual and physical need that I didn't even know I had. Now that the first pregnancy is satisfied by my giving birth on July 29th, I hope I get to move onto the due date of the second pregnancy, which is pretty much the same as the third. It is fascinating to me when I look at it that way.

I didn't get to have a home birth for my first two pregnancies like I wanted to so I'm hoping that the 3rd time is a charm. From this, I'm holding onto the hope that the number 3 is on my side. This month, I turned 33. Next month Danzo will turn 3 and this is pregnancy number 3. Will there be another 3 popping up somewhere? Maybe this baby will come September 3rd or 13th? I just hope whatever it is will lead me to have the home birth that I so much desire.

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