Be Careful What You Wish For!....

July 29th...Sound asleep until I heard a "Pop...gush, whoosh!" and felt like I was wetting the bed.

"What time is it?" I wondered. 3:30 am, on the nose. I got up on my hands and knees and tried to stop pissing myself, but I just couldn't.

"What's wrong with me? I thought I stopped wetting the bed when I was a kid. Whoa, there's a lot coming out. I can't stop this. What's happening? Oh my god, I think my water just broke! It couldn't have. I'm not due for another four weeks! Oh crap, I'm not going to be able to have a home birth! Aw shit. Well, I guess I'd better go tell Cam and get this show on the road."

I made my way to Cam's room and told him that I thought my water just broke. He woke up in a haze of confusion thinking I was telling him about a busted water line in the bathroom or something. Once he got a grasp on what I was actually saying, he got out of bed and we both kicked into gear. We got hold of the midwife, Sue and as she was on her way, we prepped the bed and couch just in case the home birth was going to happen.

Sue arrived by about 4:30. She did a vaginal exam and thought she felt a foot, which meant there was a breech presentation. That alone was not the biggest concern. I hadn't yet been tested for Strep and I was just over the borderline of being too early for having a viable home birth. We discussed the risks of going ahead with a home birth. What stood out for me was the fact that the umbilical cord could slip out and once that happened there would only be about 5 minutes before the child would be at risk for death.

I wasn't about to take any chances after all this time, so I went from being scared to angry to accepting my worst fear coming true within a few minutes time. So we packed a bag and Cam drove me to the hospital with Sue following behind. On the way, I could feel contractions and pressure on my back. Once we got there, I was hooked up to a monitor and asked a slew of questions. Once we were done with check-in, the nurse discovered that my contractions were happening every 2 minutes.

I was taken back to get into my lovely hospital gown and have some testing done. As I was leaving a urine sample, I noticed a yellow discharge on my pad, which I told the doctor about. They took a sample and analyzed it to discover it was meconium or fecal matter from the baby. A sign of distress and a possible complication if he were to aspirate it - yet another reason for a c-section.

I was hooked up to monitors and an iv. An ultrasound was done to confirm the breech presentation and the doctor came by to talk with me about what was going on. Considering all the factors, it was decided that a c-section was the best option. By now it was 7:00 am and the surgery was scheduled for 8:00 am.

Cam dressed up in all the blue scrubs. He looked like a handsome doctor. Off we went to the surgery room. Cam waited outside as I went in to get prepped. The doors opened and the scene was cold and sterile straight from the movies or one of those medical dramas on tv. I got on the narrow table and was introduced to the anesthesiologist.

He explained that once I got the spinal, I wouldn't be able to feel anything from the waist down. I leaned forward and arched my back. A sharp poke followed by warmth lead to my paralyzation. What a creepy feeling to look at my legs and feet and try to move them, but not be able to! Oh well, at least I wouldn't feel anything when they sliced me open!

The drape was raised to create a separation between my head and the rest of my body and Cam was brought in to keep my head company. The procedure started and I was actually pleased to feel a sensation that I can only describe as a massage from the inside. I felt totally relaxed and comforted. That only lasted for a few minutes and I soon felt jolted by the jostling, jiggling and rearranging of my organs.

I looked at Cam for comfort and his face was draining to white and looked so utterly serious as he viewed what the doctors were doing. I tried to think about something other than the fact that I had been sliced open and my insides were who knows where.
Just when I wasn't sure I could keep my focus elsewhere, the doctor announced that the baby was out.

Time of birth - 8:29 am. I didn't hear any crying and noticed that he had been taken to another table and people were working on him. Cam went over to see what was going on and I was calling, "Is he okay? Is he breathing? Is everything okay?"

Then I was treated to the sweetest sound I could have ever asked for. The high pitched cries of my son from across the room. As soon as I heard him, a switch turned on inside me and I began to sob. I noticed the song on the radio was "Come as You Are," by Nirvana. This is his song! How appropriate.

The doctor closed me up and just out of curiosity, checked my cervix to see how dialated it was... 6 cm... wow! We were out of the operating room by 9:00 am. I was able to attempt to breast feed for the first time shortly after in recovery. I'd like to emphasize the word "attempt" here. This was an excruciatingly hard task. I don't care what anyone says. Breast feeding is a difficult endeavor to begin with. It becomes even more interesting when you're hooked up to a bunch of machines by a million wires. Later, I came to realize, an audience and a high-strung nurse doesn't help either!

Much to my relief, Cam stayed with me the whole time. Daniel, had to stay in the nursery for the first 24 hours so they could monitor his breathing. They brought him to me every 3 hours so I could feed him. After they determined his breathing to be fine, he stayed in the room with us, which was great.

I ended up recovering really well. The doctor did such a nice job that I was able to go home after two days instead of the standard three. I didn't need much for pain either. I took a couple of Darvoset and Ibuprofen in the hospital and that was it. Daniel came out with quite a bit of bruising and swelling, but he recovered quickly too. All of the swelling went down and most of the bruising went away by the time we went home.

In preparing for this birth, I knew all along that my worst fear would be to have a c-section. Wouldn't you know it... my worst fear came true. Like I keep telling people... If it had to be this way, I couldn't be happier.

We're coming up on being home for 3 weeks now and things are looking really good. Daniel and I have finally got into a rhythm of feeding and I've actually managed to get a full 5 hours of consecutive sleep thanks to my mom's help. Hopefully, we'll get even more stuff under our belts within this next week to make it past the one month mark. I still just stare at him in amazement that he's actually here. I am truly the luckiest person on the planet!